You're Tearing Us
by Samandjackforever
Summary: You're tearing us, You're Killing us, You're saving us. McKay becomes an experiment, who will save him? MAJOR Rodney Whump, maybe McShep in later chaps.
1. POW

Summary- You're killing us, you're saving us

Summary- You're killing us, you're saving us.

A/N- I know what you are thinking….Not another Rodney is captured fic! But this one is different. I plan no happy ending to this one. It's not like the "He gets saved and is back to normal" This one is where it has extended torment. It's tough to write about but I hope I can do it justice. Enjoy.

A/N2- Also it will go from POV to third person. It will jump around a bit with that.

You're Tearing Us

Chapter 1- POW

Rodney held a hand over his mouth as john fired his gun at the wraith worshipers. His leg was torn open and Teyla was doing her best to patch it up. Rodney closed his eyes shut tight and tried to think away the pain as his nails dug into the solid earth below.

"I am sorry Rodney, I am doing my best." Teyla said softly to him as she finished. Rodney nodded and looked back to Sheppard.

"How many are left….?" Rodney asked after finding his voice again.

John looked to him quickly, "I don't know, they are coming out of no where." John said as a smoke bomb was thrown in the small dug out they were firing from.

Smoke filled the small area quickly. Rodney heard John curse as a hand grabbed him and pulled him up. Pain flared from his leg as he let out a cry. A hand quickly covered his mouth but it wasn't John's hand.

Rodney was pulled into the bushes by his unknown captor. His blue eyes drifted to the gate as it closed.

A sharp pain broke his thoughts as he slumped forward, out cold.

TBC-

I know it's short but I had to establish the main story line without giving away too much. What happened to Rodney? Who captured him and why didn't the team notice he was gone? Find out in the upcoming chapters. Please leave your thoughts(reviews) with my secretary(The button) Thanks!


	2. Missing

You're tearing us

You're tearing us

Chapter 2- Missing

John stumbled through the gate with the team. The gate shut down and John looked back to do a visual roll call.

'Ok. Teyla, check. Ronon, Check. Rodney…Rodney?...shit.' John thought to himself as he looked up at Chuck, who was at the gate controls like always.

"We need to go back! Dial it back up!" John called to Chuck who looked back at sam who was standing next to him.

"debrief now colonel." Was all sam said as she walked to the briefing room.

_In the briefing room-_

John was the first one in, followed by teyla and then Ronon. He sat down for a moment before getting up and pacing.

Sam walked in and his pacing stopped as he took a breath and sat down.

"Ok, What happened and where is Mckay?" Sam asked as she looked to each of them.

"We went to the planet for a simple recon. The people there were peaceful. That was until Mckay wandered into a temple and saw the truth." John started as the events of the night came back to him.

_Flash back-_

_John was talking with the leader of the people when Rodney rushed over to him. _

"_Colonel we need to get out of here." He whispered lightly to john as he glanced behind him._

"_Why?" John asked Rodney as teyla started talking to the leader._

"_They are Wraith worshipers!" Rodney whispered back to him, his wide blue eyes more then ready to leave._

"_bring proof. These people want to trade us a ZPM for only a sack of food. I'm not letting this pass by." John said as he turned away from Rodney. Rodney looked down and walked away from the team._

_End Flash back_

"Maybe none of this would have happened if I just believed him. I had to be the ass and tell him to get proof. The ZPM was only a fake…but I didn't know that then…" John said as he looked down at the table.

"There's one thing I don't understand. How did the shoot out start? or, In better words, what went wrong?" Sam asked as John looked back up.

"He went into the temple again to get pictures, but…they knew he'd be back. They set up a trap. It grabbed his leg and yanked him up, completely tearing open his leg. The scream brought all of us to the temple and then Ronon shot the first shot after we got Rodney down." John said as more memories of the events flashed before him.

_Flash back-_

_Ronon cut the rope that held Rodney up and caught him before he hit the ground. _

"_What the hell is this?!" John asked enraged as he walked towards the leader._

"_He was trying to get into the temple. My people must have seen him go in the first time and set traps incase he returned." The leader said simply as John turned from him and got a good look in the temple. Rodney was right, they were wraith worshipers._

_Ronon must have seen it too because in that moment he took out his gun and shot the leader dead._

_End of flashback_

"After that we ran into a dug out area, it was sort of like a trench. John was firing at the enemies as I was trying to help Dr. Mckay." Teyla said, breaking john out of the memories.

"How bad was his leg injury?" sam asked as teyla looked down.

"His leg got caught in a full leg trap that ripped the skin on his leg up. He needed stitches." Teyla said as she winced lightly at the image, "it was very painful by the looks of it." She finished as she looked back up.

"Ok, so we have a MIA on our hands. I want you all to get some rest before we start coming up with a possible search and rescue plan." Sam said as she stood.

"We can't just leave him there! They will kill him or worse…send him to the wraith! I say we go and get him now!" John shouted as he clenched his fists.

"We don't even have a plan set. I' m sorry Colonel but it's going to have to wait." Sam said as she left.

John stormed out with a grunt and went to his balcony to collect his thoughts.

TBC-

Review if you like.


	3. Everythings Changing

You're tearing us

You're tearing us

Chapter 3- Everything is changing

Rodney woke up on a cold metal table. His wrists and ankles were restrained, his shirt was torn open, his leg was stitched up and his shoes were gone. The table was cold and slightly wet.

He looked around the room he was in. The walls had many weird and bloody devices hanging off of them.

His mind felt fuzzy as he settled his head back down. The doors next to the table slid open and one of his captors walked in.

"Good to see you awake Dr. Mckay." His captor said lightly as he stood next to the table, "you are probably wondering where you are and what will happen to you? Hmm..?" his captor asked as Rodney looked to him with a nod.

"Well, we are deep underground in an experiment complex. Complex 1859. We will be looking into your mind and comparing it with a Wraiths mind. We want to see what makes you so brilliant…" His captor said as Rodney looked confused.

"A...aren't you Wraith worshipers?" Rodney asked as he tugged at his restraints lightly.

"Yes, we worship and study them. My name is Killer." His captor, killer, said as he took out a device and needles.

"Wh…what are you doing…?" Rodney asked as he looked over the device. It was a big machine with needles attached to wires.

Killer pulled the machine next to Rodney's bed and turned Rodney head to the side. He struggled against Killers grasp with a whimper but killer was stronger.

Killer jabbed one of the needles into Rodney's temple. He let out a loud cry of pain as Killer pushed it far in.

Killer then attached the other in his own temple and started the machine.

Rodney yanked at his restraints as pain waved through his skull as painful childhood and adult memories are pulled before him.

"Please! STOP! PLEASE!" Rodney begged as Killer turned off the machine.

"You have one messed up mind……how can you be so smart with a past like that? All the deaths that you caused. Your mothers…many fellow scientists under your command…Dr. Beckett…" Killer said coolly as Rodney glared at him.

Killer then got out a different needle. It was filled with a bright red liquid. Killer jabbed it into Rodney's arm and emptied it there.

"Welcome to your own mind." Killer said as he headed for the door.

"What did you give me?!" Rodney demanded as his vision became blotted with past faces and death.

"Something that will make you hate yourself even more then you already do…" Killer said as he left.

Rodney screamed like a mad man as he pulled against his restraints to try and fight off the ghosts of his mind.

TBC-

Review if you like.


	4. The unforgiving sun rising

You're tearing us

You're tearing us

Chapter 4- the unforgiving sun rising

John woke before the sun did. His heart pounding fast and hard in his chest. Nightmares of Rodney dying and suffering plagued his mind.

He sat up and looked out the window. The sun started to peak over the city with its warm orange glow.

John stood, got dressed and headed for the mess hall.

_In the mess hall-_

John walked in and spotted Ronon at one of the tables. He grabbed a coffee and joined his friend at the table.

"Can't sleep either?" John asked him and got a grunt in return.

"it's bugging me. Not knowing what's happening to him." Ronon said quietly as teyla joined them.

"Well it looks like no one can sleep." She said lightly as she sat. Sam soon joined them.

Their heads were down in thought as other's filed in the mess chatting happily, unaware of the current distress on the lead team. Only a few of the Science team members noticed the absence of Rodney.

John sighed as he started to mentally draw out the rescue plan. It wouldn't be easy, but he had to try.

"Thinking of a plan?" Ronon asked john as he nodded.

"What have you got so far?" Teyla asked as she listened in.

"We need to go back to the planet and scan the entire area. We have to look in every building and in every cave or ditch. Where ever it looks like they could hide someone. We can even search under ground, we'll take each level at a time" John explained as his team members nodded.

"Sounds like a plan. Let's do it." Ronon said as he stood and left. Everyone followed.

TBC


	5. Losing my true grip on my mind

You're tearing us

A/N- This chap takes place a few days after john comes up with his plan, his team hasn't checked the lower parts so they haven't found the facility.

You're tearing us

Chapter 5- Losing my true grip on my mind

_MEANWHILE WITH RODNEY_-

Rodney looked around the room they threw him in from his spot in the corner. Metal walls incased him in his own hell. Spots danced in front of his vision as his hands numbly reached out to stop them. Whatever Killer had given him been driving him crazy.

He felt like things were crawling over him causing him to scratch at his skin. His arms, legs and neck were lined with painful red marks in his attempts to get the bugs that weren't there off of him.

He slid his hand across the metallic and smooth wall. Blood trails from his fingers as ragged breaths leave his lungs. The visions of his mind becoming more graphic, more organic with each hour in the room.

He let out a small whimper as he covered his face with his hands. He curled his body up into a tight position and willed the visions to go away.

Killer watched with a wicked smile from the observation room before turning to his peers, "As you can see the subject can be easily broken. As I have said previously in our first meeting, he is weak." Killer said as his fellow scientists nodded in agreement.

"Um, Dr. Killer I was wondering if he could be moved to a different institution. I mean I think we've done enough observation. I want to see how he can interact with others while on the drug. Perhaps in one of our more populated under ground facilities in our other home of Jasper?" One of the doctors spoke up as Killer looked back through the window.

"That sounds like a good plan. It's also a good way to keep him from being found. Also, when is his next evaluation Dr. Jacobs?" Killer asked as he looked to the physiatrist in the corner taking notes.

Dr. Jacobs looked up from his notes and adjusted his glasses on his nose, "It's too soon for another evaluation. Why do you ask?" Dr. Jacobs asked as he folded his hands in his lap.

"Because we need to leave the first tape here. I want to give his friends just a small taste of what we are getting away with." Killer said with a certain amount of glee in his voice.

"As soon as he is moved I'll perform the other evaluation." Dr. Jacobs confirmed as Killer nodded.

"Alright, we need to move him now. The sooner we move him, the better. However, I want him in seclusion for the first week he's there before he can be allowed to socialize with our other subjects." Killer said as he called for the guards.

The guards walked into Rodney's cell with hand cuffs and ankle cuffs, "You are being moved Dr. McKay." One of them said as they both approached him.

Rodney moved back away from them, "Get away from me! DON'T TOUCH ME!" He shouted at them as they grabbed and cuffed him.

"Where they HELL are you taking me?! Get your hands off of me! LET ME GO! What are you doing? Where are we going?" Rodney shouted as they hauled him towards the door.

"we are taking you to Jasper." One of the Guards said as Rodney was wearing on his last nerve.

One of the dumber guards walked over to them, "Yeah and the address is PDS- 999!" The dumb guard said with a stupid grin.

The smart guard smacked him harshly, "Don't tell him that you idiot!" He said as they dragged Rodney to the door

Rodney quickly and without being seen wrote down the name of the place and the address on a scrap piece of paper he managed to get in his blood and tossed it paper plane style into the room.

Rodney was tossed on the ship and it started its engines.

Killer watched the ship leave before turning back into the facility; he would take the second ship out to Jasper. He had to prepare the facility for its visitors.

He left small dead- end notes about and left the tape in the player with a small note simply saying- "Play me"

He left the blood on the walls of Rodney's room to show them that they mean business.

With a contented smile Killer boarded the Ship and was off to Jasper.

TBC


	6. They moved him

You're Tearing Us

You're Tearing Us

Chapter 6- They moved him

Johns search and rescue team scanned the whole planet. Every cave and forest on the surface and they just started scanning under ground. During one night of the search a massive ship landed on the planet but didn't stay long. John and his team were unable to figure out where it was going or what it was dropping off or picking up.

However, it did give them a lead. They walked to the area the ship landed in and found a hidden passageway leading deep under ground.

John walked in with his gun held high. Ronon filed in with him along with a few others who spilt off in different directions. Teyla was at the entrance keeping guard with some others.

The hallways were dark and had an eerie stillness to them.

"This place looks abandoned." Ronon said as they headed down a hallway with small papers on the floor.

John read the random notes as he passed by them. Some said "He's dead" and some said "You'll never find him" Meaningless threats that John didn't take to heart.

John and Ronon headed into a room with Metal walls and floors. They were covered in blood and in the middle of the room sat a TV with a small note on it that said- "play me"

John walked forward and reached forward to play the TV but spotted a note written in blood in front of the TV. It said- "Jasper" with a gate address in very familiar hand writing.

John picked up the note and showed Ronon, "This is Rodney's hand writing, I know it." He said as Ronon took the note from his hands.

"We'll take it back and get it tested." Ronon said as he put the note into a plastic baggie.

John nodded and reached out. He pressed play on the TV and a picture popped up on the screen. It was Rodney.

He was sitting in a chair and was slumped forward slightly. He was bond to the chair and he was in, what it looked like, a dark room. There was one light that was shining down on him from above.

"Test Subject number 195. Other wise known as Dr. Rodney McKay. Hello, Dr. McKay, how are we feeling today?" a voice off Camera asked.

Rodney lifted his head up and looked to the camera, "I feel like shit, what else is new?" He said dryly as the voice off camera sighed.

"Please elaborate Dr. McKay." The voice said as two guards forced Rodney to sit up right. His chest and arms could be seen by the camera. They were lined with deep red and painful scars that could be seen through the holes in his dirty shirt.

"Now Dr. McKay, why did you do that to yourself?" The voice asked as Rodney looked down in a slight shame.

"They were all over me again. The bugs…the flames…I tried to put them out…" He started as he took a deep breath, "It's the damn drug you've got me on! It's messing with my mind! YOU ARE TRYING TO DRIVE ME INSANE!" Rodney shouted to the camera as he tried to get up from his chair.

"As we have said to you before Dr. McKay you are a test subject. The drug is what we are testing. It's only doing what we expect it to do. You will see in time." The voice said as the guards pushed Rodney back down on his seat. He kept his head down as he breathed deeply.

A bell rung in the back ground, "Oh Dr. McKay it's time for your dosage." The voice stated as one of the guards went over to Rodney.

The guard took Rodneys head and tilted it to the side. He took out a needle filled with a red liquid and shoved it into Rodneys neck. Rodney let out a cry of pain as he tried to get the needle out of his neck. The guard pushed the red liquid into Rodneys neck.

Rodney became rigid for a second before letting out a loud cry. The guard stepped away from Rodney as he convulsed lightly for a few seconds. During his convulsions in a pained and scared voice he repeated, "John save me, stop them, save me please."

Rodney stopped convulsing and became still on the chair. The Guards undid Rodney's bonds and carried him off.

The screen went black before a man popped up on the screen, "Hello John Sheppard. This is Dr. Killer here. I was the one that pulled Dr. McKay from you. He is very intelligent and I couldn't let that kind of test subject leave. What we are testing required a subject of great intellect. As you can see he is no longer in the facility where you stand. We have moved him to a different location. What you saw was just a glimpse of our research. We have still much more to test and go over. Happy hunting Colonel." Killer said before the screen went black.

Johns hands were balled up into fists as he kicked the TV down, "Those sick fucks!" he said as he lost his cool for a few seconds.

After a while he got his composure together, "That name…Jasper…if it's written in Rodney's blood…that has to be the place where they took him. He must have left it as a clue." John said as he looked to Ronon.

"It could be a trap or a dead end, you never know." Ronon said, his voice tight with almost uncontrolled anger as john sighed.

"But its worth checking out. We have to save him Ronon. You saw what they are doing to him. Come on, let's go back to Atlantis and brief Colonel Carter on what we've found." John said as he and Ronon headed back to the gate.

TBC


	7. Welcome to Jasper

You're Tearing Us

You're Tearing Us

Chapter 7- Welcome to Jasper

Rodney was pulled into the underground complex of Jasper like a prisoner. His hands were cuffed behind his back and his ankles were chained.

He looked around the hall as he was pulled to his room. Other captives roamed the halls with lost looks in their eyes. A few of them noticed the new arrival, but most of them didn't.

The guards tossed Rodney into the dusty and dark room. Dried blood from its last inmate lined the walls and the room reeked of a rotting smell. It was enough to make Rodney bend over in the corner of the room and lose what little he had in his stomach.

Rodney sat on the floor and leaned against the wall. The door opened and walked in a man. He had black slicked back hair and piercing green eyes. He looked at the chart in his hands before looking up at Rodney.

"Hello, Dr. McKay. I'm Dr. Johnson. I was appointed by Dr. Killer to look after you here. You will still have Dr. Jacobs as your evaluation specialist but I'll be responsible for how well you function here. It says here that you can get violent with yourself at times when on the drug, do you want a guard here to stop you?" Dr. Johnson asked politely as he took some notes.

"No." Rodney said roughly as he looked to the floor.

Dr. Johnson smiled, "you have a fight in you. I can tell, but I'm sure that won't be a problem right? We do, after all, have several ways to make you learn your place. I'll be polite to you as long as you do the same. I'll be honest with you Dr. McKay, I can be a real prick and we wouldn't want that now would we? Hmm?" He said as he tilted his head to the side slightly.

"Stop talking to me like I'm a fucking two year old." Rodney snarled as he pulled his knees up to his chest.

"For the first week you will stay in this room. We will give you your regular dosage but you will not be allowed to leave this room. When the week is up you'll be allowed to interact with the others here. Be nice or receive the punishment for bad conduct. Punishment for that is a beating and five hours in the box." Dr. Johnson said as Rodney looked slightly confused at him.

"The box?" He asked. Dr. Johnson put his pen in his pocket.

"Yes the box. The box is a small concealed metal box. It only has enough space for you to pull your knees up to your chest. There are small holes on the sides of the box. We can keep you in there for five hours if you haven't eaten something before hand and ten hours if you did eat." Dr. Johnson explained as he turned to the door, "I hope you enjoy your stay here Dr. McKay." He said as he left Rodney to his own thoughts.

Rodney stared at the closed door for a moment before a rage flowed through him. An uncontrollable rage that caused him to stand up and kick the wall. He let out a growl of frustration as he punched the door.

"I have to get out of here." He mumbled to himself as he sat back down, "There has to be a way to escape…I... have to save myself this time. They can't save me. John can't save me. Oh god….I'm on my own." He said as he leaned his head back against the wall and cradled his damaged hand in his lap.

TBC


	8. To jasper we go

You're Tearing Us

You're Tearing Us

Chapter 8- To Jasper we go

John headed straight to the infirmary after briefing Colonel Carter on the situation. The test results were not in yet so he paced the floor anxiously as he waited.

Ronon was seated next to teyla with a pissed expression on his face, "When I find that Dr. Killer…he's a dead man." He said, venom dripping from his words as he stared at the ground hard.

John took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair, "It's always gotta be Rodney getting himself in shit like this. I still can't believe I didn't notice he wasn't with us when we came back through." He said as he looked to teyla and Ronon, guilt reflecting in his eyes as he sighed.

"It is not your fault colonel. None of us noticed his absence until it was too late. Right now we need to concentrate on bringing him home." Teyla said in a gentle voice as she leaned back in her chair.

The doors of the infirmary opened and Dr. Keller walked out with a folder in her hands. Her face was pale and tired as she looked to the team.

"The blood on the note was, in fact, Rodneys." She said, her tone light and lined with worry.

Ronon shot up out of his seat as teyla stood slowly. John felt his heart jump up to his throat as the news sunk in.

"We have to go to Jasper then…and soon but first…we need a plan and a damn good one." John said as he peeled his eyes from the floor and looked to his team.

"Here's my plan. We go in, kill anyone who isn't Mckay, get Mckay, bring him home, end of story." Ronon said as he clenched his fists at his side looking like he was ready to hit something.

"As much as I think that's a good plan…we need to do this the right way. I don't want to take the extra time to form the plan either but we have to. If not…we could end up doing more harm for Mckay then good." John spoke in a gentle tone as he straightened his back.

Ronon let out a mad huff as he stalked out of the room heading in the direction of the sparring rooms.

Teyla stepped forward, "John, I will inform Colonel Carter of what we found out. You should get some rest." She spoke gently as she rested her hand on johns shoulder.

John nodded, "Alright…I…I just need to clear my head right now…" he said as he walked out of the room. He walked down the hallway with a sigh, the tape replaying in his head as he felt the sudden urge to lose what little was in his stomach. His training kicked in as he fought it off.

He walked out on the balcony and looked up to the night sky, "We'll bring you home Rodney. I promise" he whispered into the night air before turning and heading to his room.

TBC


	9. Girl of Sanity

A/n- Just want to add a little thing here

A/n- Just want to add a little thing here. I own Dani. Enjoy

You're tearing us

Chapter 9- Girl of Sanity

Rodney paced his room his head in his hands. He just received another dosage and it, as much as he hated to admit it, was driving him crazy. He paced the middle of his room, being sure to stay away from the flaming walls only he could see. The heat only he could feel incased him quickly as he dropped to his knees.

His breathing quickened as the flames drew closer surrounding him. He pulled himself closer in as he closed his eyes tight.

"It's not real. It's not real." He repeated over and over to himself as he rocked back and forth on his heels lightly, his nails digging into his arms harshly.

Suddenly the doors opened and Dr. Johnson walked in, "How are we tonight Dr. Mckay?" he asked as he approached Rodney.

Rodneys head snapped around to meet Dr. Johnsons gaze, "Fuck you" He muttered as he turned away.

"Now that's not a very good way to talk to anyone. I brought good news, you'll be allowed to socialize sooner. In fact I'm here to take you to the recreational room now." Dr. Johnson said as two guards walked into the room. They pulled Rodney to his feet and started to drag him out.

The guards dragged Rodney into the so called recreational room. The room was white with bright lights. They tossed him in and slammed the door.

Rodney stared at the white door for a moment before turning to look around the room. There was really nothing to it except the color change. It wasn't any different from his own personal room.

Other patients were seated in various places; none of them looked like they had any clue to what was going on.

Except one, a teenaged girl who was huddled into a chair hugging her knees to her chest. She had short brown hair and warm brown eyes that held a hint of terror in them.

Rodney sat down in the empty chair next to her with a breath, "Please tell me you still have a soul…" he said to the girl as gently as he could manage with his worn out voice.

The girl looked to him, her eyes studying him slightly, "I'm not far gone like the others if that's what you mean." She said as she glanced around the room.

"Thank god…someone who's still sane. I'm Rodney." He said as the girl put her legs down and looked to him.

"I'm Dani. You're the new guy right?" Dani asked as she looked him up and down taking in his appearance.

He nodded, "yeah I'm the new guy. I really don't want to be here." He said as he ran a hand over his face.

"None of us do. The key is you can't let them win. If you let them win you'll end up just like the soulless stiffs in here. That's what I've learned over the years." She said as she folded her hands in her lap and looked to the floor.

"Years…? How old are you?" Rodney asked as Dani looked back to him.

"I'm 17. I've been in here since I was ten. They took me from my village and brought me straight here. They've been experimenting on me since then." Dani said as rodneys eyes grew wide.

"How on earth were you able to stay sane this long?" He asked as she shrugged.

"My desire to live and my need for revenge I guess. They will pay for this. I'll make sure of it." She replied with a harsh tone.

"Maybe people like us should stick together then. What do you say, friends?" he asked as he offered her a hand.

She shook his hand, "As long as you don't go loopy on me. The last person I tried to be friends with gave in. Promise me Rodney…that you won't give in. Even if you think there is no hope…don't let them win." She said with confidence in her voice as Rodney nodded.

"I won't or at least I'll try." He said as Dani smiled gently with a nod.

"Good…." She started as she leaned back in the chair, "I would ask you where you're from but I don't want you to give any information out that you don't want others knowing" She said as she gestured to the one way window in the front of the room.

"Right" Rodney said as he nodded, "So what do they have you on?" He asked as he glanced around the room.

"The red vial…I think each time they put me in this room I feel like it's a blessing. It's white…clean…and mostly always quiet. It's a great place to think instead of in those horrible cells. The darkness incases you and when they've given you that dosage…"She trialed off slightly.

"You feel like there are things lurking behind every shadow…you feel like someone is watching your every move…and then the walls become ablaze." Rodney finished her sentence as she nodded.

"You're on it too?"

He nodded, "Unfortunately yes." He said as the doors opened, two guards walked in and over to them.

The guards grabbed Dani roughly by the arms and hauled her up, "Time's up girly and it's time for your dosage." One of the guards said as he pulled out the syringe filled with the red liquid.

The other guard grabbed dani's head and yanked it to the side as the other pushed the needle deep into her neck.

She didn't cry out as they injected her but the look in her eyes was enough to make Rodney have to look away as they haul her out of the room.

It was then Rodney made the choice, if he was getting out of here…so was she and it was then that Rodney started planning.

TBC-


	10. Break in, Break out

You're tearing us

You're tearing us

Chapter 10- Break in, break out

It was late in the night when Rodney decided to take his plan, however rushed and stupid it seemed, into action. He managed to jimmy the door of his room open and he darted down the hallway looking into each room for Dani.

_Meanwhile-_

Dr. Johnson walked into rodneys room with a smirk as he kept his eyes on his chart, "Now Dr. McKay I've just come to inform you that…" his sentence trailed off as he noticed that rodney wasn't in his room.

"Shit" he mumbled as he took out his radio, "We have a Patient on the loose. Patient 195 is out..i repeat patient 195 is out!" he said as he dashed down the hallway in search for his patient.

Little did he know that Rodney was close to breaking out.

_Back with Rodney-_

Rodney found Dani's room and broke the lock open, the door swung open and Rodney walked in.

Dani was huddled in the corner of her room. Her face was buried in her hands and she was shaking.

He rushed over to her side, "Dani…dani come on we need to get out of here." He said as she looked up at him with wide eyes.

"How the hell did you get out of your room?" She asked as he helped her to her feet.

"It pays to be in an old room," He said with a smirk as he steadied her, his smirk fading, "Still feeling the effects?" he asked as she nodded.

"Yeah…they…they upped my dosage. God the visions…they're horrible…" She said her voice shaking slightly.

"Ignore the visions…I know it's hard but we need to get out of here…the exit is down the hall…if you just keep following it, it will lead up and out. We have to run ok? So on my count. One, two, three…GO, GO, GO!!" Rodney shouted as he and dani took off down the hall in hopes of freedom.

TBC-


	11. A little aid

You're tearing us

Chapter 11- A little aid

Rodney and Dani rushed down the hallway past the guards. Dani was running ahead of Rodney since she was faster.

"RODNEY COME ON! We're so close!" She shouted over her shoulder as they started to reach the stairs.

The scream made her stop. She turned around and saw Rodney on the floor. They got him.

Rodney looked up from where the guards held him down, "DANI GO! GO! GET OUT OF HERE! You still have a chance!" he screamed as the guards used their control sticks to beat him down.

She backed up closer to the stairs, her eyes filling with tears. Even though she barely knew him…she didn't want to leave him, "I'll Come back for you! I promise I'll get you out of here!!" She shouted to him as she turned and dashed up the stairs.

As soon as she surfaced she made a mad run for it to the woods where she hid under the cloak of night.

She stayed low to the ground as she moved, the branches cutting into her knees and hands. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she huddled into the nearest cave she found. Blood dripped down her legs from her knees as she clamped both hands over he mouth to keep from giving away her hiding place.

She heard the footsteps of the guards scanning the area. She closed her eyes and for the first time in a long time, prayed. Her heart hammered away in her chest as she pleaded with whatever gods were watching over her to keep her safe.

The footsteps faded and the sound of the out lock of the main doors could be heard. She crawled out of the cave and headed deeper in the woods.

'Who am I kidding? How in the hell can I save him? I barely saved myself.' She thought to herself as she wandered, wincing as the cuts on her knees shifted, warm sticky blood staining her pant legs.

She came to a clearing and in the middle of the clearing was a massive ring. A weird pedestal thing with symbols sat a little ways in front of it.

With a confused look etched across her face she took as step forward. Suddenly the ring started to activate, light glowing and locking things into place.

She let out a startled gasp as she backed up. She tripped over a branch and fell back staring wide eyed as blue shot out of the ring. Moments later a device with wheels and what looked like a camera rolled out.

She stood up and took a breath as she bravely walked over to it.

TBC


	12. Perhaps Answers

You're tearing us

Chapter 12- Perhaps answers

Back at Atlantis the team waited anxiously as they sent the MALP to Jasper. John was looking over Chucks shoulder as the transmission linked.

The screen blinked and a picture of a large clearing came into view. John felt his heart sink as the MALPs camera rotated to look around. No sign of anything but trees.

Suddenly he saw a glimpse of something flash across the screen as the MALPs camera rotated again.

"Wait Chuck, go back." John said, his voice tight and controlled. Chuck rotated the camera back and a girl came into view on the screen. Colonel Carter walked over to get a look.

"Open up a radio channel." Colonel Carter said as chuck nodded and went about doing it.

Once the channel was linked, john stepped in, "Hello, this is Colonel John Sheppard. Do you read?" he said as he looked around to his team.

"Hello? Hello? I'm I using this thing right?" the girl said into the microphone on the MALP.

"yes, who are you?" John asked getting right to the point. The girl leaned into the microphone again.

"I'm dani, but that doesn't matter. I need help. I have a friend…I need to save him. I promised him. I barely know the guy but he got me out of that horrible place. Please Help!" She said slowly losing control over her voice as she glanced around her.

Teyla stepped up, "Please calm down. Who to you need to save?" She asked as Dani looked into the Camera.

"My friend Rodney, he's the reason I'm here. We tried to make a run for the exit but he was to slow and got caught. We have to hurry! I need to save him!" Dani replied.

The team was stunned silent for a moment as they looked to each other. Each unsure if they should feel relief that they might have possibly found Rodney or feel dread that Rodney might be is worse shape then on the tape. John felt his heart rise right back up again as he approached Colonel Carter, his best no non sense look on his face,

"Colonel Carter…we need to let her through. If she's talking about Rodney…i…I can't let this chance pass by." John said once he got his voice working again.

Colonel Carter nodded silently as john nodded and headed down the stairs towards the gate.

"Hang on, we are sending someone to get you." Ronon told Dani through the radio as john walked through the gate.

Dani was leaning against the DHD when john arrived, tears still streaming down her cheeks, "You'll help me?" She asked as she took a shaky step forward, her adrenaline rush coming to a slow halt.

John caught her as she slumped forward, "We're gonna need a med team ready when we get back, She's in pretty bad shape." He said into his radio as he scooped dani up in his arms.

"Alright, we'll be ready when you get here. Carter out." Colonel Carter replied as she ordered Chuck to shut the gate down.

TBC-


	13. Identity

You're tearing us

Chapter 13- identity

As soon as the gate shut down john placed Dani gently down on the ground next to the DHD as he dialed Atlantis back. She slowly started to come around as the gate kawooshed back open.

"Wha…no…we need…go back…" Dani said as she tried to stand but failed as she plopped back on the cold ground.

"First we need to get you checked out…thanks to you we know where Rodney is now." John said as he helped Dani stand and have her lean on him for support as he sent his code and they walked through.

_Meanwhile…_

The guards drag Rodney to Dr. Johnson's office and sit him down. They restrain him to the chair and walk away. Dr. Johnson is sitting behind his desk, his back to Rodney, on the phone with Dr. Killer.

"Yes…Project Astra has escaped….We were nearly done with her anyway…I know sir but…yes, yes of course…Dr. Mckay helped her escape. Yes sir. Bye." Dr. Johnson finished his conversation and hung up the phone before turning his seat to face Rodney.

"Dr. Mckay…You really are a rebel aren't you…do you have any idea what valuable project you just helped escape?!?" He shouted as he slammed his fists on the desk and stood, "I've been working on her for years! And you just threw it all away! She'll find out what powers she possesses soon…." He continued his voice dropping to a calmer tone.

Rodney was slumped in his seat wheezing with pain, one eye swelled shut, a dark bruise forming around it. Blood was dripping from his nose as he lifted his gaze to meet Dr. Johnsons silently.

"Are you not even the least bit interested?" he asked Rodney as he stalked over to his chair. Rodney remained silent.

"We were giving her what we were giving you but a different form…yours is for you to realize your true power…hers was designed to unleash her true home coming. That of the Ancients…she is now the last of the living ancients, a truly scientific miracle…." He told Rodney as he grinned to himself.

"Y…you've been experimenting on a pure blood ancient…?" Rodney asked weakly as Dr. Johnson laughed.

"She's a pure blood now…that's what her type of vial was designed to do. Make her into her pure self…and we have…" he explained as he looked down at Rodney.

"A real life non- ascended ancient…" Rodney said to himself in an amazed voice as he thought about her, she must have gotten to Atlantis. He hoped.

TBC-

I know it's sorta short but ^__^ lol I hope you enjoyed it!


	14. True Colors

You're tearing us

Chapter 14- True Colors

Dani was barely awake when she and john emerged through the gate in Atlantis. The med team was waiting for them. They got Dani on a gurney and wheeled her away to the infirmary.

John watched them go as Colonel Carter approached, "What happened?" she asked as john averted his gaze to her.

"She collapsed when I got there. She looked pretty shaken up…" He said, his voice trailing off as he looked around the gate room. Atlantis seemed more alive then ever. Almost as if the city herself was concerned for this new stranger.

"Colonel?" Colonel Carter called as she touched his arm lightly and he jerked out of his thoughts, "Maybe you should go see how she's doing…" She suggested as john nodded in agreement and headed to the infirmary.

_Later…_

On his way to the infirmary the halls seemed as if they were buzzing with life, more so then before. John could sense the city's slight distress, curiosity and excitement as he go to the infirmary.

Jen was waiting for him when he got there.

"How's she doing?" He asked as he came to a stop and leaned against the nearby wall.

"She's tired and her knees were cut pretty bad but I bandaged them up. I took blood for blood work and made sure she ate something before she fell asleep. She kept asking to see you and she is very worried for Rodney." Jen reported as she led john to Dani's bed.

Dani was sleeping restfully curled up on her side; the sound of the foot falls of boots woke her almost instantly. She sat up with a start.

"Hey…it's ok." John said when he noticed how scared Dani looked. She looked over to him and relaxed against the pillows with a sigh.

"Sorry…it's the boots…I've learned that it's always best to be awake when you hear foot falls." She explained as she rubbed her eyes lightly.

"I'll let you two talk and Dani if you need anything just let me know." Jen said before she turned and left.

There was a long stretch of silence as John sat down by Dani's bedside. He shifted in his seat to get comfortable and studied Dani's appearance. She was sitting up Indian style on the bed with her hands in her lap.

She took a deep breath, "So your friends with Rodney?" She asked first breaking the silence that was slowly getting uncomfortable.

John nodded, "yeah, we've been looking for him. How is he?" he asked, part of him wanting to know the other part dreading it.

"When we were escaping the guard had him pinned down, they were beating him pretty badly…I don't know what they did to him now….I feel so guilty for leaving him behind but I guess he knew I'd get help…it still baffles me…" she said as she stared down at her hands folded in her lap, "I barely know him…I only know his name and he risked everything to get me out…he could have just left by himself…I feel like I stole his chance at freedom." She sighed as she looked back to john.

"You can't think that way. Think of it like this…you're here now…and we have tons of people here who are willing at a moments notice to go and rescue him and now thanks to you we know where he is." John replied.

She sighed, "Yeah but thanks to me he's not here when he should be." She added quietly with regret in her voice.

John opened his mouth to say something further but stopped himself as he looked up and saw Jen waving him over, an open folder in her hands.

"I'll be right back" He said as he got up and walked over to Jen, "What have you got? Replicator?" He asked as he got there.

Jen looked at him with wide eyes, "No…definitely not a replicator but you'll never believe it….I got her blood work back…" She said as she closed and tucked the folder under her arm.

"And??" John asked impatiently as he sighed.

Jen looked to Dani for a moment before returning her gaze to john, "She's an Ancient."

TBC-

AHA! Lol I know short chapter yet again but I had to get this story updated. I hope you enjoyed it.


	15. Red Rage

You're tearing us

Chapter 15- Red Rage

_Back with Rodney-_

The guards dragged Rodney back to his dark and dirty cell. They threw him in and locked the door behind them.

He sighed as he stared out of the small window in the door. He settled down on his side and curled up tightly on the floor.

He could feel the burning of the vial running through his veins as a cold bitterness grew in the back of his mind. He let out a growl as it turned into hot heated hate in seconds.

Rage flooded through his mind and body as he sprung up on his feet shaking and breathing heavy. He glared at the small window, his eyes turning red as he rushed the door hard, with animal like force.

Outside of rodneys room Dr. Killer smiled as he looked away from the room to Dr. Johnson.

"It's finally taking effect. Nice job doctor…he will be ready for our special experiments in no time…do you have the victims picked out?" He asked as Dr. Johnson nodded.

"Yes sir…some of our lost causes…it certainly is an easy way to get rid of the unwanteds sir." Dr. Johnson said as Dr. Killer nodded.

"Excellent, be sure to get it on video." And with that said Dr. Killer walked away to his secret office, the anger howls of Rodney following him down the hall.

_Meanwhile back on Atlantis…_

John stared at Jennifer for a while before getting his voice to work again, "You mean to tell me we have a real ancient here?" he asked and Jennifer nodded.

"The blood work confirms it. It showed that she was part ancient but I found a altering chemical that changed her to full ancient. I'm going to screen her blood again to try and find out what exactly the chemical is but as far as I'm concerned she's the real thing." Jen said with a slight smile before she walked away.

John walked back to Dani's bedside, "you're an ancient??" he asked as Dani looked at him eyes wide.

"Yes my origin is half ancient…but that's never counted for anything before…" Dani said with a confused look, "Why does it matter now?" she asked.

"Well looks like your captors made you pure ancient…Dr. Keller said that she found an altering chemical in your blood that made you pure ancient in the flesh and blood." He told her as her eyes slowly got wider.

"The red vial…." She mumbled under her breath as she stared down at her hands.

John was about to say something more but was cut off by the alarms signaling an unscheduled offworld activation. He got up and headed toward the gateroom.

TBC-

I know it's really short I but I just wanted to get an update up.


	16. Legal Assassin

You're Tearing Us

Chapter 16- Legal Assassin

The gateroom was dead silent when john arrived. The gate was already shut down and in front of it lay a black video tape with a simple white label that read "Rodney- Rage"

John glanced up at Sam who was by chuck before he walked forward and picked up the tape. It was still warm in hands and blood stained a tip of the stark white label.

He clutched the tape tightly in his hands as he stalked out without a second glance at the others. If this was going to bad, he would rather watch it alone.

However teyla, Ronon and Sam followed behind silently. They exchanged worried glances as they walked. John stopped mid stride and looked to them, "Get Dani…she should see this too..." he said in a low voice. Teyla nodded and departed to get Dani as Ronon, Sam and john continued on to a rec room.

John walked over to the TV, popped the video in and waited for teyla to show up with Dani.

_Meanwhile on the planet-_

Dr. Johnson stood in front of the stargate with his radio in hand, "The tape has been sent sir." He said with a grin.

"Good, it's time to show them what monster we have waiting for them." Dr. Killer replied as Dr. Johnson turned to head back to the complex.

_Back on Atlantis-_

The team plus Sam and Dani sat in the rec room watching nervously as john pressed play on the VCR.

The screen blinked before the image of a man appeared. Dani flinched at the sight of him and burrowed further back into the couch.

"Dr. Killer…"She said with a rough tone, "he made my life a living hell…."

Dr. Killer smiled into the camera, "I'm sure you are wondering why I am contacting you and how exactly I got your address. It took some time but our scientists found the address in the dialing memory storage of the DHD. I'm contacting you with an update…he has been making great progress. The red vial we designed for him has started to take effect just under two hours ago…I'm sure you want to see him…" He said as the camera panned left and focused into a dimly lit room.

A shadowy figure loomed in the middle of the room, blood was smeared on the walls and dead bodies littered the floor. The lights brightened to reveal Rodney, his eyes as deep red as the blood on his arms. He growled wildly at the camera as he stalked up to the glass and banged his fists against it leaving blood smears in his wake.

The camera panned back to Dr. Killer, "As you can see, our "legal assassin" is nearly perfect with his killing. That rage he kept bottled up so long…is finally released…and what wonderful an outcome we have gotten. Close up on the bodies Dr. Johnson." He said to the camera operator as the camera panned left again and focused on the floor.

The bodies were mangled and distorted, their faces had been scratched and torn and their stomachs ripped open.

"I highly doubt you will want him now." Dr. Killer said simply before the video faded out.

Dani let out a gasp as she pressed the back of her hand to her mouth, "My god…what have they done to him…" she muttered against her hand.

Teylas eyes went wide with shock and Ronon looked like he wanted to hit something. John remained deathly still and quiet as he stared at the black screen a moment before he walked over to the TV and punched it with a loud frustrated cry, shattering the screen.

Dani was the first to move to his side, "We have to get him now…smashing your hand isn't going to help him…come here…" She said softly as she took johns now bloodied hand into hers.

She ran her fingers over the cuts and john winced but soon the pain faded as did the cuts. The team watched in somewhat awe.

"You're an Ancient?" teyla was the first to ask as she stepped closer to Dani.

Dani nodded, "yeah…Dr. Killer changed me. I was born with half of the ancients blood and DNA in me. My village called me the "Nobel Half" but now I am whole…but I paid a dear price for it. I didn't even know what Dr. Killer was trying to do to me during my years of captivity….he is a sick and cruel man…and deserves death…" She finished in a dark tone as she shivered slightly and looked down to the floor. She let go of johns hand and walked out of the room silently.

John looked to teyla, she nodded and followed Dani.

Sam stood, "I suggest we form a plan to bring Rodney home….and fast. Whatever you have in mind as a plan John…you have my permission." And with that she left.

John stared after her before looking to Ronon, "We have a rescue team to assemble. It has to be massive…and we need to make it quick…" he said his voice full of determination.

They both headed out to start arming their troops.

They are going to bring Rodney home.

TBC-

Sorry for waiting so long before an update! I'll try to update quicker!


	17. Mission Impossible or not

You're Tearing Us

Chapter 17- Mission Impossible or not?

John and Ronon managed to gather troops fairly quickly. In three hours they had groups of marines in jumpers ready to go at the command. Everyone was piled into the gateroom.

John sat in the drivers seat of one of the jumpers. In the back marines piled in and the team plus Dani were sitting in the front.

The jumper hummed lightly as Dani took her seat with a sigh, "I really hope we're not too late…" She said softly as she looked down at her hands. From behind her Teyla reached over and squeezed her shoulder gently and reassuringly. Dani looked back and smiled lightly at teyla.

"Rodneys strong when he wants to be…but just in case we have a Med Jumper coming with us." John said as he put his hands on the controls. The jumper lit up and hummed even louder.

"Are you an ancient?" Dani asked as lifted up into a hover. John shook his head as the gate started to dial up.

"Nope…I just have the gene…don't ask me how…" He said as the gate Kawooshed open. Dani sat back silently and looked out. She reached forward, touched the consol in front of her lightly and closed her eyes. Moments later a HUD screen popped into view.

"Whats that?" Ronon asked as Dani looked back at him.

"It's a layout of the complex…" She looked at it, "I can't believe it actually worked." She said quietly as the jumper started to move.

The jumper moved through the gate slowly and once on the other side it landed in the clearing while the other jumpers cloaked themselves and moved into various places around the complex.

"What are we looking at here Lorne?" John asked into his comm as his group filed out from the back of the jumper with their guns at the ready.

"There's a small opening in the middle of a fenced ground….looks like a door…the area around it has search lights aimed out at the surrounding woods but not by the door…we need to take out the lights but make it look like they burned out." Lorne reported to john, "I think Zelenka can take care of that." He continued as he looked back at Radek who was already assessing the problem.

"Alright….once the lights are out let us know. Dani is going to lead the way through the forest. Stay air borne incase we need air support." John ordered as his group stood waiting for orders.

"yes sir."

John tapped his radio off and looked to Dani, "So you know the layout of the building right?" he asked just to make sure.

"Yeah…like the back of my hand. It's entirely under ground and the stair way leading down is pretty old so we need to be quick." She explained

"The doors not locked?" Ronon piped up from where he was in the back.

Dani shook her head, "no…it's a form of mental torture. Showing them that there is a way out but making them so sure that they will die if they try. I'm one of the lucky ones."

"Colonel, the lights are off. Good luck." Lorne chirped in, breaking the momentary silence.

"Alright…lets move out." John said as he handed Dani a 9mm, "take point, we got your six."

Dani nodded, determination in her eyes as she head the gun up and lead the group the way she came from.

TBC

Finally updated lol! Good/bad?


	18. Sacrifice

You're tearing us

Chapter 18- Sacrifice

The team settled just along the inside of the fence, "Ok…we need to make sure we storm in there…once the guards group up in there they are pretty hard to deal with…" Dani said in a hushed whisper.

"Ok…I'll take point, Dani you file in next to me. Everyone covers everyone is that clear…" John addressed the group. He got a round of "yes sir" and "Yes John"

"Good…let's head out" Dani said as she got up from her crouched position and headed out with the group.

_Meanwhile-_

Dr. Jacobson walked into the observation room. Rodney stood in the middle of the room chained like an animal.

"How are we feeling tonight Dr. Mckay?" Dr. Jacobson asked as he took out his file. Rodney growled and tugged at his restraints his claws just out of reach of the Doctor.

"Good…Dr. Killer will be pleased…Looks like he isn't such a lunatic after all…" Dr. Jacobson grinned but his grin faded as he looked up to the observation deck.

Dr. Killer was sitting casually in his arm chair, "Is that what you really think Dr. Jacobson…?" He asked in a cool tone, his finger lingering over the release button.

"n-no sir…of course not…" He stuttered a response. His eyes darted around the room as the "victims" doors opened and the "Beyond hope" patients filed in, "Dr. Killer…Please! NO!" He screamed as Dr. Killer pressed the release button.

The chains that held Rodney dropped to the floor. He stretched his arms with a small satisfied growl before getting to work. With a loud screech he ripped into the crowd striking Dr. Jacobson first.

Dr. Killer watched with a sick grin, he didn't even notice the sound of the door opening.

What he did notice was the sound of heavy and quick boots thundering behind him.

He turned slowly and came face to muzzle of Dani's gun, "Don't move or I will blow your head off I swear…" She said her tone dark.

"Danielle…you don't want to do this…give me the gun…" he spoke slowly and smoothly as his hand reached for the gun. At that moment everyones guns raised to keep his movements at bay.

"Not a chance! Stay there!" She shouted as she rounded him and peered out into the room. Her eyes widened in shock as she watched the slaughter, "oh my goddess, Rodney…"

The walls were covered in blood and pieces of flesh as Rodney ripped into his victims. Rodney turned and glanced up at the window, his eyes blood shot and broken bore the soul of an angry bitter monster.

Dani looked away as tears leaked down her cheeks. She turned back to Dr. Killer, her eyes full of fire as she cocked the gun, "TELL ME WHAT YOU DID TO HIM?!!" She demanded in a loud cry.

Her hands shook with fury as she stared down the man who made her life a living hell.

He simply smiled, "I changed him for the better. Now he is a strong and powerful brute…not a weak and defenseless coward!" he said darkly.

Dani charged up and pushed the gun against Dr. Killers throat, "Fix. Him. Now." She bit out harshly.

"Do you think I am afraid of you…?"

"you will be." She said as she moved the gun to his knee and fired.

Dr. Killer howled in pain as the shot ripped open his knee, "Give me the cure! Now unless you want your other knee cap destroyed!" She shouted over his hollers.

The team behind her shared surprised looks at her acts of violence but held their ground.

"The cure…." He pants through gritted teeth, "is time…without his normal injections…he will revert…"

Dani lowers her gun and pulls out handcuffs, "Help me handcuff him…we're gonna wait and if he is lying…kill him." Dani said as she handed the cuffs to Ronon who secured them in place.

"You guys watch him…Dani and I will go and see I we can talk to Rodney." John said a moment later breaking the silence that built in the room. Dani nodded and headed off with john.

TBC-

Good/ bad?


	19. Time

You're tearing us

Chapter 19- time

Dani hacked into the lock system on the door nervously. Her hands shook as she pushed the crystal back in, "Ok…that should do it." She stated as she pressed the release on the lock.

She looked at her gun as the door opened and with a slight shake of her head she set it down.

"Dani, what are you doing?"

"Stay out here for a moment…I wanna talk to him myself first…"

John nodded reluctantly, gripping his P-90 in his hands. Dani smiles reassuringly at him before stepping into the blood soaked room.

Rodney's back was to the door, his battered and changed frame leaning against the opposite wall.

She stepped cautiously to make sure she didn't fall as she made her way silently to him.

"Rodney…?" She called gently coming to a stop a few feet away from him.

He turned slowly and looked at her, growls emitted deep from this throat, a warning saying "Stay back"

"I told you I was going to come back for you…I promised you…come on…let's go…" She said as she reached out to him. He didn't move away or closer.

After a long moment he took a deep breath.

"I'm not worth saving." He spoke simply, his voice rough from screaming. One fist is clenched tightly at his side. His arm covered in someone else's blood.

Dani looked down a moment, "that's not true…" she whispered.

Rodney suddenly charged forward, stopping just in front of her, "Look at me! I'm a monster…look at all this blood I've spilled! I've hurt so many innocent people…and…part of me…loved it. Part of me loved the feeling of their lives draining out because of my hands…and for that, I deserve to rot here!"

The room settled in silence as dani looked at Rodney, tears in her eyes.

"I don't know you all that well…other then the fact that you helped me, saved me and you barely know me. You deserve to go home. What happened here isn't your fault…its Dr. Killer's. If you put all the blame on your own shoulders…then you let him win. I will not stand by and let that happen. You are not a monster. You just got caught up in the wrong game." She said as she reached out and touched Rodneys arm lightly.

His skin was hot to the touch and slick with blood, his muscle tight and tense. He yanked his arm back and stepped back.

"Just go. I can't just go home and hope I can forget this…it doesn't work that way. That sick masochistic bastard said that what he gave me showed me what I could do. If –this- is what I can become…then I'd rather stay locked here…" with that he turned away from her and looked down.

The tears that wield in dani's eyes spilled down her cheeks, "I'm not leaving here without you! We worked hard to get down here and save you! Can't you at least pretend to be grateful!" she said, anger building slowly as her tears dripped down.

"You don't get it. I. am. A. Monster!" He bit out with a glance over his shoulder.

"Then I'm one too! I've done this Rodney! I've fucking done this! You think my time in captivity was full of soft pillows and care! NO I've killed innocents before! I've been where you are! Here's the difference…I didn't let it take over…I didn't give up." She snapped angrily as she started towards him.

Rodney turned back to her silently, his eyes casted down. Dani stopped just in front of him and grabbed his shoulders.

"Listen to me…if you fucking give up then you might as well lay in a wooden box and wait to be buried! You can come back from this…time heals everything…Please…come home."

Rodney lifted his head up and looked at her, doubt and sadness swirled in his eyes, he backed away.

Dani lowered her hands in somewhat shock as more tears fell. She reached forward and pulled him into a hug, "I don't know what else I can say…I feel like we were too late…you're already gone…so I guess this whole trip really was for nothing…" She whispered bitterly as she hugged him lightly.

He didn't move to hug her back, he just stood stiffly still in her arms and remained that way when she pulled back. She turned to walk away and that's when things went from bad to worse.

TBC-

OOoooOOO Cliffy tehe


	20. Run Away, I'll attack

You're Tearing Us

Chapter 20-Run away, I'll attack

_Last time in You're Tearing Us-_

_He didn't move to hug her back, he just stood stiffly still in her arms and remained that way when she pulled back. She turned to walk away and that's when things went from bad to worse._

Anger flared through Rodney spreading quickly like a wild fire. A strong growl escaped his lips as he stalked towards Dani.

Dani barely had time to turn around before she was grabbed and thrown across the room. She hit the wall with a loud thud as her head snapped back. She let out a gasp as spots danced in her vision and she slid down to the floor, her pants immediately covered with the blood of others.

Her pain filled eyes looked up at Rodney as he grabbed her again, his claws digging into her arm. She let out a cry of pain as he lifted her up high.

"RODNEY STOP! Please this isn't you!" She pleaded but her pleas of pain fell on deaf ears as he dragged her across the room and grabbed the heavy chains that used to bind him to the floor. He held her down as he wrapped a chain like noose around her neck and held it up.

She gasped for air as her feet started to dangle. Through the blood in her ears Dani heard a gun shot and looked to see john at the door, his P90 raised before she was dropped to the ground.

Rodney let out a pain filled grunt as the bullet impacted his shoulder. He eyed john and the gun silently as Dani weakly crawled away, the heavy chain holding her down.

"Rodney-! Stop it! Snap the fuck out of it!" John shouted as he threw his gun down. He walked to Rodney and slapped him, hard across the face, "This HAS to STOP!"

Rodney staggered backwards slightly with a whine. He leaned against the wall; hand on his cheek, eyes glancing around the room. His eyes darted from Dani to John for a moment before he slid to sit on the floor.

He pulled his knees into his chest with a whimper and closed his hands over his head. He slowly turned into a shaking mess as tears fell down his cheeks and a broken sob escaped him.

John looked torn between helping Dani or comforting Rodney. He looked at Dani; "I'll be fine…help him…" she coughed as she sat fully down.

John got to his knees next to Rodney and pulled him into his arms. He met little resistance before Rodney let john hold him.

"Its ok buddy…we got you now…you're going to be ok…" he said comfortingly to Rodney before looking up at the window, "Kill him." John ordered the group.

Ronon nodded and looked to teyla, "You should go help Dani, and we can take care of it here." He said and Teyla headed out. Ronon turned his attention back to Dr. Killer and the rest of the group raised their guns.

A brief second later the sound of gunshots filled the room.

Dani looked up just in time to see Dr. Killer slump back in the chair dead. She smiled lightly to herself with a cough. The nightmare was finally over.

She shifted to move closer to John and Rodney but pain flared through her. She let out a shaky gasp as she gripped her head between her hands.

Suddenly she felt soft warm hands on her back smoothing her. She looked up and saw Teyla sitting next to her, with a comforting gaze.

Dani opened her mouth to say something but Teyla stopped her, "Do not try to speak. Just relax…I'm going to try to get this chain off of your neck." She explained as her hands went to Dani's neck.

She started to pull it up but stopped when Dani let out a howl of pain and a fresh trail of blood flowed from her shoulder.

"It's stuck…" Teyla said in a hushed voice as the group from the observation area came down into the room. Ronon kneeled next to Teyla and Dani.

"Need help?" He asked as he looked from Teyla to Dani.

"It's stuck…I tried pulling it off but it got snug on her skin." Teyla explained as Ronon switched positions with her.

"Ok…we're gonna try it again…Teyla you lift from the back, I'll lift from the front." He said as they grabbed the chain and lifted together.

The scream that came from Dani could have woke the dead if she tried as fresh blood poured from new wounds. Tears of pain wield in he eyes as she gripped at Ronons shirt.

They set the chain back down on her shoulders gently, "We're gonna have to keep it on until we get her back to Atlantis…here…" Ronon said as he lifted his shirt off and placed it just under the chain so it didn't rest so heavily on Dani's shoulders.

Meanwhile Rodney had calmed down and was watching what was going on with wide eyes as the crowd around Dani grew.

John helped him stand and walk over. Ronon was attempting to help Dani stand with the chain still stuck around her neck. Her face was pinched with pain as she held herself together. Teyla lifted the tail end of the chain to help Dani balance.

Dani looked over at Rodney and their eyes met, "D-Dani….I'm so sorry…I..." Rodney began but Dani's raised hand hushed him.

"It's ok Rodney…I know that it wasn't you…Dr. K- killer used you…not your fault…" She said in a strained voice as the group slowly started to move out.

Dani walked behind the group with Ronon and Teyla. The sound of her heart beat filled her ears, washing all other noises out as the pain increased ten-fold. She looked up; john was talking into the comm, his other arm around Rodney.

She was so distracted by everything around her she didn't even realize she stopped. Blood soaked the front of her shirt as her legs started to give out. She felt Ronon's grip on her tighten to lower her to the ground slowly.

As she sat noise started to return to her ears, "Sheppard! We got a problem back here!" Ronon called to John at the front. John stopped and handed Rodney to one of the marine's to keep him on his feet.

Teyla was at Dani's side, "She's losing a lot of blood…we need to get this chain off of her. Ronon already volunteered to carry her we…"

"I'll carry her." A voice piped up from the front cutting teyla off.

All eyes turned to Rodney who stepped away from the Marine, "I'm the one that hurt her…I should carry her. She kept her promise to me…to bring back help…and I repay her by hurting her like this…" his voice was full of shame as he walked over.

Ronon nodded, Teyla and John positioned themselves to lift the chain, and Rodney took Dani's hand in his own.

They counted to three and lifted together, Dani's screams were dry and rough as the chain came off, leaving vicious cuts on her neck and shoulders. Ronon took his shirt from where it was placed on her shoulders and wrapped it around her neck to stop the bleeding.

Rodney stood and lifted her in his arms gently; she was trembling with cold only she felt. The cold of blood loss. She clung to Rodney as they headed out and up the stairs.

TBC-

I think this is my longest chappy XD


	21. recovery road

You're Tearing Us

Chapter 21- Recovery road

They emerged from the under ground stair way to find a jumper waiting for them. Dr. Keller rushed over to them with her med team and carted them away into the jumper. The other group piled into the other jumper.

_Later-_

The infirmary was full of hustle and bustle. The machines beeped angrily at it's occupants as the nurses and Dr. Keller worked.

Half way to the gate Dani lost consciousness and was immediately taken into surgery. They called in another doctor from off of the Daedalus to take care of Rodney as Dr. Keller was in surgery.

Dr. Hemlock looked over Rodney silently. Not once did Rodney complain or say a word, his eyes were fixed on the light which indicated that surgery was still going on.

The rest of the team waited patiently in the waiting room. More like Teyla was waiting patiently, Ronon and john were pacing.

"Why won't they let us see Rodney?" teyla asked to try and change the subject of tension. John paused and looked to her with sad eyes.

"I don't know." He said with a sigh as he plopped down beside teyla.

Just in that moment the "In surgery" light turned off and Dani's bed was wheeled out. Her face clammy and pale, completely still.

John stood with teyla as the team looked to Jennifer for allowance into the infirmary. She glanced to them and with a nod they followed her in.

Rodney was sitting up in his bed, his eyes fixed on Dani's face. Deep regret shone in them as he looked away with a heave of breath.

Jennifer noticed Rodney's distress, "She's going to be ok Rodney…" she said comfortingly but Rodney kept his face hidden from the infirmary.

"She tired to help me but all I did was hurt her…." His voice quiet with held grief. John walked to rodneys side and sat down next to his bed.

"hey, it wasn't you controlling your body. It wasn't your fault." John said reassuringly to Rodney. He reached out and squeezed Rodneys shoulder gently.

Rodney stopped talking and the silence was absolutely unsettling for the team. They sat between Rodney and Dani's bed.

This road to recovery was going to be a long one, but they would face it together.

TBC-

Sorry this took so long XD


	22. You Made it this Far

You're tearing us

Chapter 22- You've made it this far

Silence filled the infirmary as everyone drifted to a light sleep. The team was forced to rest in their rooms despite the fight they put up.

It seemed as if everyone in the infirmary was asleep, medication induced or not. Everyone except Rodney.

He stared at the ceiling lost in thought. He tried everything in the book, counting sheep, reciting Pi, but nothing worked. His mind kept returning to the cell.

"Dani, I don't know if you can hear me but I am so god damn sorry. I know you were helping. Hell you came back for me. You walked into the very place of your nightmares to get me out of it and this is how I repay you. If you hate me, I'll understand." He whispered quietly to the empty air.

There was a long stretch of silence, "I don't hate you." Came a weak response from the occupant of the next bed over.

Rodney looked over and was met with a pair of very groggy but very much awake brown eyes.

"Dani, you're awake."

"Yeah…"she grinned weakly, "Nice going captain obvious." She said with a weak laugh.

Rodney got up out of his bed easily since he wasn't hooked up to any more IVs. He went to Dani's side.

"Dani I'm so sorry…I didn't want to hurt you…it was…"

"Rodney, I don't hold you accountable for you're actions. It's ok. I'm still alive aren't I? So no big deal, really Rodney." She said as she looked to him with a small smile. She took his hand and squeezed lightly.

He pulled up a chair and sat next to her, "Shouldn't you be in bed?" she asked and he shook his head.

"Well yeah but…I can't sleep so it doesn't matter anymore. Every time I close my eyes I…I see…him." He said with a shiver.

"I know the feeling, even though he's dead it still feels like he's following us around. The thing is Rodney, you need to convince yourself that he's really gone and that dreams are just dreams. Ya ever hear the saying "dreams teach"?" she asked as she moved to sit up but stopped as he stitches pulled.

"I know but it's so hard. I mean he told me that what he gave me brought out my potential. If that monster is what I can become then I don't want to be me anymore." He said in a defeated tone.

"Hey, That sick bastard made all of his "most promising" subjects believe that. Believe me I know, I spent the first five years locked up in that place strapped to a table while my DNA was being altered. When I was in the "in between perfect" stage, he put me where you were. He made me kill all others that were too damaged or unsuccessful. It took me many many nights to get the feeling of blood off of my hands but I did it. You can do it too Rodney, you've made it this far. Don't throw it away to him now." She said in a strong voice as she looked to him.

He remained silent for a while and squeezed her hand, "thanks," he whispered, "I guess with the help of my friends I'll be ok. We'll be ok. I mean you are staying here right?" he asked in a worried tone and Dani nodded.

"yeah, don't worry I'll still be here. I like it here, it's nice." She said with a smile, "You should probably get back to sleep."

"Yeah, thanks again Dani." He said as he retreated back to his bed and laid down.

"And don't worry, I'll throw stuff at you if you have a nightmare." She said with a chuckle.

Rodney smiled and drifted to sleep and for the first time the nightmares subsided but there was still a part of him thinking,

"How long will this last?"

TBC


	23. Not Alone

A/n- takes place a few days after chapter 22

You're Tearing Us

Chapter 23- Not Alone

It's been three days since Dani and Rodney were released from the infirmary and Rodney had started to avoid everyone like a plague, especially at night. At first it wasn't entirely noticeable. He would make appearances to the team during the day but once that Lantian sun set; he would vanish like a ghost.

It was late into the night when Dani decided enough was enough. She walked down the hall way with purposeful strides to Rodney's room.

"Rodney…it's me. We need to talk." She said as she knocked on his door. After a moment when she got no reply she walked in anyway.

The room was a mess with papers and objects in disarray, "Rodney?" she called as she continued to venture into the room.

She peered into the darkness as her eyes adjusted and there on the floor next to his bed was Rodney.

He was sitting up, his eyes wide and vacant as he stared at the moon. She knelt next to him unnoticed and looked up at the night sky.

There was an almost perfect view of the sky from where they sat. They stayed in silence a moment longer before Dani broke it.

"Atlantis is most beautiful at night….at least that's what I think…" she said quietly as Rodney looked to her.

"When did you get here?"

"I've been sitting here for a while…you wouldn't answer you're door so I just came in. You've been acting like a ghost ever since we got released. I guess I figured that maybe you should talk to someone who's been through it all. I know it's hard…." Dani said as Rodney looked to her, his eyes red and raw from crying.

"I keep thinking of those people…those innocent people that deserved to live…and I just slaughtered them all…I can't forget their faces." He said in a quiet voice.

Dani nodded, "I know…I know because I've killed before…they made me do the same…and to this day I still can't forget but…I learned to forgive myself. It took some time but I was able to look at my reflection again with some pride. One day you'll get there too…I'll help you…"

"I nearly killed you…why on earth would you want to help me?" He asked, his voice cracking slightly.

"I know better, I know it wasn't you…it was him…he takes control and makes you do terrible things...but he's gone now…we don't need to worry about him anymore…" she said as pulled Rodney in for a hug.

Rodney hugged her back lightly, "Thank you…" he murmured.

"Don't thank me…survivors like us need to stick together." She said as she pulled back with a smile.

The journey to full recovery would be a long one but at least they aren't alone.

TBC-

I don't know if I should end it here and work on a sequel what do you think?


End file.
